A very pertinent issue. Unfortunately, some ppl in our midst refuse to even acknowledge it an issue, but it is a huge problem, at least here in Pakistan.
You are right, somehow the onus of safegaurding the 'honour' of the faimly always falls on the women. I suppose somehow its the legacy of the age-old traditions we have had and the notion that the men know the society better( no pun intended). So they have got to gaurd the womenfolk and punish the few errant and rebelious ones who challenge this belief.
The problem here is that whenever a lady wants to have it her way against the wishes of her family, her family brand here as a stigma to the family- one who has 'dishonoured' them. Somehow i dont think its because of lack of education or social awareness. You would see cases of honor killing right across the social hierarchy. SamiaSarwar was a one such unlucky 'educated' lady who murdered in cold blood at the orders of her mother in the offices of her lawyer. This was the resposne from the ones in our NA. Condemnable to say the least.
And the role of religion? I think the issue had more of a 'social genesis' than a religious one. Religion has just become a pawn in the hands of the perpetrators.
The sad thing is that i dont think education will help in this regard, only proactive involvement by the common man. Check this VictimsOfLaw. Some incidents where the people did win.
So where do we go form here?